The People’s Beer Drinker Is Here!

One of the things that prompted me to start his blog (other than the fact I like American beer and Mark wanted me to), was the back that those in the Craft Beer Movement seem to be trying to but beer on the same level as wine. 

 Now listen, I have been to a few winery’s.  I have seen Sideways.  I personally don’t get off on doing the old sniff, swirl, swoosh, sip just a bit, then spit into a big nasty fucking bucket.  If I find a wine I like, I buy it and drink it.  Thats it.  I really don’t get down with the whole wine and food or wine and cheese tastings.  Just not my bag.  However now a days, Craft beer fan seems to be trying to put beer in the same catagory as wine. 

 A good friend of mine Mark Tichenor writes for Beercraft.  This is a print column in a local fish rag as well as a frequently updated website/blog.  If you are reading this blog, you were probably referred from his page.  Anyway, Mark is a phenomenal writer and dude knows beer.  He knows so much about beer it boarders on the line of being almost disturbing!  Of coursethat doesn’t mean that I don’t read his columns and blogs because I do.  I even try and keep as open a mind as I can when reading another blog about the virtues of Germany’s beer.  However where I start to loose focus is usually in his discription of the beer.  Most notably when he refers to floral and fruity scents and tastes.  Uhm yeah, floral and fruity.  Like I said, Mark can flat out write.  As I read his discriptions its almost like I have an invisible beer infront of me and I can smell the subtle floral aroma, then like in a bad Kid’n'Play movie I hear the sound of a scratching record as I snap back to reality.  We’re talking about a friggin’ beer here and I’m smelling flowers?  Come on!!!  Not too many things are more manly than beer (well maybe Chuck Norris drinking a beer).  Why is it that in this review of a manly beverage am I reading about its fruity aftertones and floral scent?  Hang on…Okay, I’m back.  I had to check and may sure I still had a package (and yes, its size is rather impressive).  As a guy I flat out don’t care about my beer smelling like the bouqet of flowers I had to give my wife the last time I fucked something up.  If my beer doesn’t smell like piss, shit, or skunk its probably going to be alright with me.  I also don’t need discussions of the fruity nature of my beer.  Come on, this is beer, don’t turn it into a glorified Zima. 

Taking this all a bit further, now I have been reading (through Mark of course) that a couple of the local bars here in Crapcehster are starting up ye olde beer tastings complete with a plate of cheeses and glorified lunch meats.  Another place puts on a sit down meal while they explain which beer should go with what.  Okay seriously, this is taking beer snobbery to a whole new level.  It’s beer.  If you think it tastes good, drink it with that you want!  And while I am bashing…don’t get it wrong.  I bash because not only do I not “get it”, but because beer snobs like my man Billy-Shan are quick to pile on a person because they like Coors Light and are proud of it.  Beer snobbery at its worst son.

 Perhaps if Beer Snob could live in harmony with regular beer drinker, there wouldn’t be such a divide.  It’s all beer after all.  Beer snob has turned into that stuck up cheerleader you used to like in High School.  You know the one who was smokin’ hot and could suck a gold ball through a garden hose, however she would look down at you like you were the lowest form of life on earth.  As you nod your head…yeah, that bitch.  Somehow beer snob look down on those of us that enjoy a frost brewed Coors Light, or an MGD.  There is plenty of beer for all of us…even with the hops shortage.  I can drink my Miller High Life right along side of someone drinking a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale or a Spatan.  I’m good and open minded like that.  Come on beer snob, stop the hate!

Well, it didn’t take long for the haters to make their presence felt here in my extremely tiny slice of the beer blogging world and it is none other than an old ace boon coon of mine William H. Shannon. 

Apparently my much older and reclusive friend has taken exception to the fact that I have started a blog about Big American Beer and the fact that I support it.  You can read his comments in my “Who am I” blog just below.  Upon reading his spiteful and bitter commentary I had to ask myself, “Why is it alright to blog about European beer and Craft beer, and anything else along those lines, but if I want to blog about Bud, Coors, or Miller its just wrong?”  And that ladies and gentlemen is something I cannot answer. 

According to Mr. Shannon (who is a legit connoisseur of beer - all respect due) , Big American Beer is forcing us all to “drink that same fizzy crap”.  I don’t know about you, but I have a mind of my own that I use on a regular basis.  I prefer to drink Mic Ultra over Vermont’s Magic Sack #9.  I prefer to drink Bud Light over Saranac Pale Ale.  I prefer to drink a Negra Modelo over a Corona.  Yet on the other hand, I prefer to drink a Brooklyn Lager or whatever the hell there main brew is over Labatt’s Blue.  Why is it that I an alleged “Mr. Rebellion” am turning into a conformist because I feel like blogging about the beer I like?  Who cares if it’s the same “fizzy crap that tastes the same from brand to brand”?  Its what I like…and I do try craft beers.  I try European beers.  They do not suit my tastes.  Every now and then I find something I like. Blue Moon, Stella, Brooklyn, Rorbach Blueberry Ale etc.  Hey, I’ll talk about them too.  But don’t act like a jamook just because I’m going to rep Big Beer.  I like it.  If you don’t, you can get the Bozak (again). 

Certainly my blog frequented by about 3 people will not put a cramp in the side of Craft Beer nor will it single handedly keep Big Beer Booming.  Next up will be the effects of drinking beer as a High School Sophomore the night before a Biology Final.

I’m really against doing a regular feature, only because I don’t want to get locked into doing someone that my 2 or 3 readers might look forward too, so I present to you the semi-regular Friday Focal Point.  It’s nothing more than a fireside chat about something beer related.  Wait a second, isn’t that what pretty much every blog post is?  *Scratches Chin*  Crap, I’m already breaking my own balls.  Anyway, one with the show.Today’s focal point is beer from our friends South of the Boarder.  I won’t front and act like I have tried copious amounts and variety’s of Mexican Beer, but I have tried enough to blog about it. 

 What brought this on was last Friday, the ole lady and I went to a Mexican Joint here in the city and met up with 2 other couples for dinner.  Brenna and I arrived first and we each ordered a beer.  After looking at the menu I grabbed a personal favorite, Dos Equis XX Lager while she had the Dos Equis XX Amber.  Dos Equis on tap is always a pleasant surprise on a list populated by Bud, Bud Light, Mic Ultra etc.  Sure they are beers I like, however I’m down with a little culture here and I wanted a decent Mexican beer.  As the other couple’s arrived, they started scanning the drink menu.  I know you know where I am going to go with this, you have too.  I had one person from each couple pegged to order the obvious.  Sure enough I was right. Here comes the Corona order with the lime and all.  I privately shook my head.  Don’t get me wrong, Corona is a decent beer.  I enjoy knocking a few back now and then, however I’d much rather have a lemon wedge in mine rather than a lime.  However when there are other choices on the menu for beer that fits the cuisine, give the Corona a pass!

See, down in Mexico, Corona is their version of Milwaukee’s Best.  The Mexicans are laughing themselves all the way to the bank every time they export this stuff to us knowing there will be plenty of gringo’s ERRRRRRRRR Americans (and yes, you to Ukers where it’s the number one import there as well) who will readily snatch up the beer at inflated prices because they think they are drinking a premium brew.  A lot of us know this.  A lot of us know this and either don’t care or don’t want to believe it.  And a lot of people don’t know this. When you tell them that Corona really isn’t a top notch brew and than the piss water drinking Mexicans laugh at us for throwing as much of this stuff down as we do, they act like you just shot their parents.  Hey look,  sorry.  Far be it from me to be the barer of bad news.  Oh, and there is no Santa Clause, Easter Rabbit, Tooth Ferry, or honest politicians.

Don’t take my dumping on Corona the wrong way.  I am a friend to Corona like I am a friend to American Macro Lager.  However I am also open to giving other beers a chance.  Next time you are looking for a plate of heartburn and gaseous emissions from a place other than Taco Bell, try a different beer.  As mentioned Dos Equis is a good brew to mix with your TacosEnchilladsBorritosQuesediasItsallthesamebutthename.  Other good choices would be Pacifico, Tecate, and Bohemia (another personal favorite of mine), Negra Modelo and Sol.  Some are easier to find than others, but give them a shot.  If my tastes give them a thumbs up, chances are you will like them as well!

Budweiser is looking to give a boost to stagnant sales of Bud Light.  They plan on doing this by adding Lime to the beer just in time for this summers BBQ season.  Following Miller’s lead who last summer unveiled their “chelada” styled Miller Chill which added lime and salt flavors and by consumer research, Bud is looking to jump start sales the way other gimmicks have.

It’s time to get this thing rolling.

Very soon I will be making my true initial beer blog post.  I will explain the need for my blog, my goals for the blog, and I will probably take a run at a few people and things as well.  Stay tuned.  It’s coming!