The People’s Beer Drinker Is Here!

Even a diligent supporter of Big Beer such as myself can be honest and call a spade a spade when need be.  Just because I support Macro Beer does not mean I like all Macro Beer.  Case in point, the Pride of America Jr. EERRRRRRRR Canada - Labatt’s Blue.

Here in Western NY, Labatt’s is big business and considered “good beer”.  I love the people who suck it down because it’s “imported”.  Yeah, from 75 miles away.  Listen, I don’t get hung up on “imported” or “Golden” or whatever labels people throw at beer - big or small.  When it comes to Labatt’s Blue or Blue Light it’s just nasty swamp flavored beer.  I mean while I have never had the desire to drink my own piss, I am pretty much convinced that if I ever did it would taste just like Labatt’s Blue.  I just don’t find anything redeeming about it’s so called quality.  And on top of that, why the hell is it “Blue”?  Last time I saw a Labatt’s being poured, it was rocking the same golden color its better tasting counterparts sport.  I’m sure Labatt’s employees Gord, Karl, Pepin and Roy all sat around one day and came up with the bright idea - “BLUE”!!!  Golden beer that is as blue as the sky.  Well done fellas.  Thanks for reinforcing the stereotypes us Americans have about baby brother. 

If you must ingest a Canadian beer, give Keith’s a shot or even Molson.  they may not be the best choices the Canucks have to offer, but they are head and shoulders above Labatt’s. 

*In all fairness, I will mention the one good Labatt’s Blue Light experience I have had.  A buddy and me took a roadie to Detroit several years ago for a Jim Rome Tour stop.  We got to the decaying metropolis that is Detroit and decided to check out a Tigers game that night.  The stadium was serving 32 oz. Blue and Blue Lights for $7.75.  That much beer for that price at a ball park is a fucking steal.  I ended up as intoxicated as I ever have been in public and had a blast at the game.  Plenty of hi-jinks ensued, but that’s a whole other blog.  Stay tuned to the Don for that one.  Either way, that was the one and only night that the Blue went down easy and tasted good.  It’s possible to have those moments, but don’t expect them!

On top of being a champion for Big American Beer (BAB), I am also a champion of suburban living.   So much so that I pretty much have no reason to go to the city unless I want to see a Redwings game or if I want to get shot, stabbed, robbed, have my car stolen, beat down, harrassed, or killed.  Look, I like my house, my yard, and having to drive to get my groceries.  But this is a whole other blog.

 So, when my latest edition of the Fairport-ER Community Newspaper arrived in my mailbox I was quite happy to read in the featured story that right here in Fairport a new bar or “Traditional Irish Pub” is going to be opening soon. 

 Damien Mulconry is an actual Irish fella who met his wife while tending bar in NYC.  She was in college and when she was done she dragged him back to Fairport.  Now that dude is here, he is opening his own Pub on Liftbridge Lane right on the canal.  He is going to feature “traditional Irish fare” which means he is going to be boiling a whole lot of shit.  The pub and restaurant will feature great views of the canal and should offer up a great place to hang outside on a nice summer day/night.  Unfortunately nothing was mentioned about the type of beer he will have, and don’t expect me to seek out an interview.  First I’m not Mark so I don’t care that much, and the dude is a real Irish guy.  That means I’m better than him and don’t need to talk to him.

On the flip side of this great news is this…another Irish Pub.  I can stand anywhere in Monroe county and spit on an “Irish Pub”.  Hell just down the street from the soon to be Mulconry’s is Fairport favorite Donnelly’s Pub.  On top of that, Mulconry is shooting for a more upscale type of a pub.  And while this is good for keeping the riff-raff from Gananda, Macedon, and Walworth out, it also can place a stuffy atmosphere in the bar with simple fuckers like me despise.  I don’t want to feel uncomfortable if I stroll into a bar in my shorts, jeans, or my David Wright jersey.  Maybe this place won’t be like that, but the article might have you believing otherwise.  Also, along with the “old world” feel and the upscale atmosphere come high prices even for watered down BAB, as well as Snobby ass Pittsford clientele and thinks they’re from Pittsford but still in Perinton clientele.  This doesn’t mean I won’t give the place a shot though. 

 The tentative opening date for Mulconry’s is 18APR08.  Give the place a shot.  And city folk, if you venture out please leave the city lifestyle at home.  No guns, knives, or violence please.